#nannylife

Amongst a plethora of jobs babysitting ridiculous kids with a ridiculous amount of energy and an even more ridiculous level of stamina it's incredible the difference between a babysitter and a nanny. A babysitter just has that "it'll end soon and I won't have to come back for a LONG time" feel whereas a nanny is continuous, and basically becomes a stand in mom. It's weird jumping from a babysitter to all of a sudden being a nanny for THE most ridiculous kids. I'm pretty sure that they make it difficult on purpose when you're their nanny and not just their babysitter. You develop a great love for the children you nanny and it's a different kind of love than what you feel towards your family and friends but is just as much love.

I constantly find myself covered in a library of substances. Do you need extra ketchup? That's on my right pant leg. Still thirsty? There's Sprite on my right leg. And, that weird spot on my shoulder, that's your snot from getting angry with me. And that stuff on my cheek? Yeah, that's from you spitting on me when I put you in time out. And, don't think the dog forgot about me! Because on my foot...she's left a little present and left me to step in it.

Nothing is sacred anymore either. Once you've hit "level: nanny" you give up ALL privacy. Not even the bathroom is sacred. If this is what mommy life is like Masen and Azzie have me TOTALLY prepared.

Your knowledge of different things expands as well. "What have you learned today Jo-Jo?"
1.  That Clifford the Big Red Dog has been replaced with Jo-Jo's Circus, The Roly Poly Olies, and weird shows with weird looking people on them and awkward story lines
2. The best insult a 3 year old has screaming "you're a girl girl!" Well, thank you. I needed that affirmation to my gender.
3. Nutella and bread shuts up any tantrum
4. That stuff that looks like chocolate that the kids are playing with is definitely NOT chocolate.
5. The dog's treats are to be put on the highest shelf or you find the 3 year old feeding her until she poops everywhere.
6. When you hear yelling....run!
7. My numbers 1-5 and then the words "time" and "out"
8. Sharing does not exist.
9. That I can memorize the words to every show on disney jr.
10. No matter what you wear it gets dirty...mine as well wear your birthday suit
11. Your phone, kindle, ipad, or any other electronic will no doubt be covered in foreign substances when they're done playing with them
12. When you're out of your comfort zone...you've reached nanny level
13. If you nanny the kids long enough they tend to call you "aunty"
14. The 5 year old knows how to work electronics better than me
15. Paper plates and paper cups or ceramic plates and glass cups or sippy cups and plastic plates it doesn't matter...it ends up on the floor anyway
16. You're never only a nanny. You're a comforter, maid, chauffer and a "boss".